i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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