Im at strip club and am horny
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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