so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
