You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
