Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
