This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
