I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
