I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
