don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
