Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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