Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
