wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
