They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
please come you make the beer taste better
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
