There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
