Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
