What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
