Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Randomize
