Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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