So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
