So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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