watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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