I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
