24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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