We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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