I want to make a zoo with you.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
