They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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