Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
