I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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