he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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