ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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