Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wear drunk well.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
