So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
