Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
