definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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