He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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