he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
