i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I just got carded by a ten year old.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
