My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
