M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
