i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
