he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
