North Korea, Best Korea!
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
