can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
