I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
