I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
