I didn't shave. On purpose
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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