But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
