Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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