I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
