Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
