every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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