Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
