i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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