somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I didn't shave. On purpose
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
